New Year Honours - Cranmer’s Celebratory Pulpit No. VIII
Cranmer is delighted to reward his communicants with an open pulpit today - in celebration of his record statistics, and in recognition of his nomination for Personage of the Year. Cranmer can’t be having with all these pseudo-celebrities and civil service incompetents who have been awarded their memberships, officerships or commanderships of the Order of the British Empire, so he would like to bestow his own honour upon the individual who, in his humble opinion, has contributed most to the world this year, and that award goes to Mohammed Bear.
Mohammed was thrust unwillingly into the media spotlight when 20 children named him after a popular boy in the class. He faced 40 lashes, imprisonment and torture for ‘blasphemy’ against ‘The Prophet’, but endured to the end with all his paws intact. Yes, Cranmer knows that he is Sudanese, but Cranmer’s honours are not limited by the shores of this precious jewel set in a silver sea, for he is now read in 172 nations of the world.
His Grace’s ‘traffic’ has set some new records in December, with his busiest week being that before Christmas, with 5,869 unique visitors, contributing to his busiest month, December, which records 18,540 unique visitors. The most popular searchword continues to be 'Cranmer', and 'Muslim' outscores 'Jesus' by 2:1, but 'Jesus' beats 'Mohammed' by 3:1. Due to the admirable efforts of little Mohammed Bear, the word 'bear' is now almost at parity with 'Mohammed' - only 30 searches behind.
Cranmer was delighted that Reuters has used a number of his posts and broadcast them to the world, and even The Guardian has linked to his writings. Cranmer was humbled and honoured to receive an email from the BBC World Service on Christmas Eve asking him to take part in a live broadcast on the plight of Christians in Bethlehem. Of course, owing to the lack of a corporeal state, he regretfully had to decline the invitation.
In celebration of this traffic update and the honours bestowed, and in perpetual commemoration of the spiritual liberation afforded by his own pulpit experience with the Provost of Eton, Dr Henry Cole, His Grace is pleased to host another ‘Cranmer’s Pulpit’ for communicants to nominate their own Personage of the Year, or to raise whatever religio-political or politico-religious concerns they do so wish…
…intelligently and eruditely, of course.
And Cranmer wishes all of his readers and communicants a Blessed and Happy New Year!