Gordon Brown to meet the Pope
The Lord is not with thee.
Cursed art thou amongst men,
and cursed is the fruit of thy labours, the recession.
Unholy Gordon, author of incompetence,
intervene no more for the electorate,
from now until the hour of your political death.
It is reported that the Holy See has granted an audience to the Unholy See Nothing. Doubtless His Holiness would like to know more of how this heretical Son-of-the-Manse plans to save the world, for that task really falls under the aegis of His Holiness.
These will be the first talks Mr Brown will have had with the Pope since becoming Prime Minister, and are a sure sign that he has arrived (Mr Brown, that is, not the Pope). While there may be a few orisons for the intercession of St Prudence to liberate the Prime Minister from his economic excesses and political purgatory, there are no indications that he intends to leave office imminently and convert.
During their discussion, Cranmer sincerely hopes the Pope will raise the UK's increasing intolerance of the Christian faith and rising incidences of the persecution of believers.
*For those of His Grace's readers and communicants who might be more inclined towards the Extraordinary Form of the Roman Rite, courtesy of Bella Gerens, he is delighted to reproduce the Latin version of his 'Hail Gordon':
Ave, Gordon, gratia carens,
Dominus non tecum.
Vituperatus tu in hominibus
et vituperatus fructus laborum tuorum, recessio.
Nefas Gordon, pater incompetentiae,
interveni usque non adeo pro nobis civibus
nunc et in hora mortis perduellionis.