Bradford West by-election: Vote George Galloway – the proper Muslim
Today is the Bradford West by-election. You might be forgiven for having forgotten (if ever you knew): the campaign has been somewhat overshadowed by granny taxes, Cash4Cameron, pasties and panic at the petrol pumps.
The constituency has been Labour for as long as Moses wandered in the wilderness. The heir-apparent is one Imran Hussain, a 33-year-old barrister and long-standing chairman of the local Labour Party. But His Grace has thought long and hard about the candidates and, it being abundantly self-evident that the delightful Conservative candidate doesn’t have a Protestant in purgatory’s chance of winning, His Grace has decided that George Galloway deserves to take the seat. Yes, that’s right, George Galloway. This one-time friend of the sadistic torturer Uday Hussein who genuflected and obsequiously fawned before the murderous Saddam; who insulted and slandered the entire feline species on Big Brother; who was ejected by the Muslims of Bethnal Green and Bow after one disappointing term of office; who is matey with Hamas and rants on fanatically about Palestinian genocide while denying the crimes of the real terrorists; the absolute demagogue whose poisonous tongue is dipped in pools of blood.
His Grace doesn’t agree with a word the odious man says and unequivocally repudiates everything he purports to stands for. He is a one-man-party self-publicist and a slimy master of political seeming.
But he is today the man His Grace most earnestly wants to be returned to Parliament. Not merely because he is and a highly-skilled orator (which he undoubtedly is). But because he would be a perpetual ‘Real Labour’ thorn in the side of Ed Miliband, and things need livening up a bit beyond the inane level of pasties. And, more importantly, George Galloway is a proper Muslim. Or more proper than the New Labourite clone Imran Hussain is anyway. Mr Galloway sent Muslim voters the letter below (blessings to Paul Waugh), in which he appeals to Bradford’s Muslims to search their hearts for they know ‘instinctively’ who is a Muslim and who is not (...and he criticises Labour for running a sectarian campaign...). He flatters them divine discernment, for what they know ‘instinctively’ is what Allah knows perfectly. He declares: ‘God KNOWS who is a Muslim and he KNOWS who is not’. And he goes on to list his Islamic virtues: ‘I, George Galloway, do not drink alcohol and never have... I, George Galloway have fought for Muslims at home and abroad, all of my life... I, George Galloway, tell the truth...I, George Galloway, hold Pakistan’s highest civil awards...I, George Galloway, came to the side of the people of Palestine in their agony...’. He also refers to 'the Grace of God' and says 'if God wills it' he will give his remaining days in service of all the people of Bradford West:
His Grace does not know if it be the will of Allah (who appears to have no sense of humour) to return his servant George Galloway to Parliament. But it is a certain fact that Labour and Parliament deserve him. And so might the electorate of Bradford (if Bishop Nick will forgive).
Mr Galloway believes we need more genuine Muslims in Parliament, as opposed to the compromised, luke-warm, wishy-washy sort who fraternise with Iblīs and dance with Shayṭān. To be a ‘proper’ Muslim is the highest calling, isn’t it George? And the Muslims of Bradford might just fall for it.
Even though he's actually Roman Catholic.